We are social animals. We need to relate to others for various reasons; we cannot exist alone happily. We need others to compare, share, give and take and feel together. We make relationships primarily to satisfy our emotional and physical needs. What about the health of the relationship? Is your relationship happy and healthy?
In healthy relationship, both the partners are themselves. They keep that freedom with themselves. Freedom is a very important aspect. In a relationship that involves abuse, the abuser takes this freedom away. That is why any abuse makes the relationship very unhealthy.
We think about the concerns of our partner in a healthy relationship. It is not dictatorial. Every decision that we take is done with consensus and care is taken to check that other partners interests and preferences are respected fully. Our concern for our partner makes the relationship fulfilling.
In the two way process, we make some demands from our partner. They are reasonable to the extent that our demands do not crush the others spirit and values. Sometimes, a partner wants a relationship that demands that the other partner give up all his/her values. That will never do any good to the relationship. That will make the relationship very unhealthy.
Desire to relate - Unless we get attracted to each other and have genuine affection and care for each other, everything else is of no use. The relationship must have that love and affection to begin with. Without that one cannot talk and be open in communication with the other partner. Without that initial love, no relationship will begin.
Monday, April 13, 2009
Improve Your Relationships
Relationships are complex things, but following these basics will help you make your relationships healthy and strong.
When in doubt, listen first and check to see if you have understood the other person by asking them questions. Often relationships go awry when people feel they aren’t being heard or understood and sometimes it’s important just to listen. You have to know what they want, not what you think is good for them. Listening is what helps us to find connection with each other.
This also means you need to tell others what you really feel, think, and want. You can’t feel connected if you don’t voice these things.
Communicate simply when it is most critical that they hear you. Get clear in your own mind what kind of outcome you would like and try to state it in the most simple and specific terms. You will more likely be understood the more clear you can be, and often that means fewer words, not more. Sometimes repetition is necessary in getting through to someone what is really important to you.
Always show respect. Respect means listening, accepting a no when you are given one, not taking them for granted, being honest in your dealings with them, and not criticizing often or discouraging them. It is also important that you do not try to control others, and just as important that you show respect to yourself and ask that they treat you the same or be willing to walk away.
Know when it isn’t a healthy relationship. Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you should be in a relationship with them at this time. They should be good for you, not addicted to anything, not controlling or abusive in any way, and make you feel secure and happy. It is not possible to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t care about you, or who abuses a substance or you, so don’t try.
Seek to be good for others and don’t tear them down. People like to be with those who make them feel good and who are good for them. Lighten up and have fun together and your relationship will grow.
When in doubt, listen first and check to see if you have understood the other person by asking them questions. Often relationships go awry when people feel they aren’t being heard or understood and sometimes it’s important just to listen. You have to know what they want, not what you think is good for them. Listening is what helps us to find connection with each other.
This also means you need to tell others what you really feel, think, and want. You can’t feel connected if you don’t voice these things.
Communicate simply when it is most critical that they hear you. Get clear in your own mind what kind of outcome you would like and try to state it in the most simple and specific terms. You will more likely be understood the more clear you can be, and often that means fewer words, not more. Sometimes repetition is necessary in getting through to someone what is really important to you.
Always show respect. Respect means listening, accepting a no when you are given one, not taking them for granted, being honest in your dealings with them, and not criticizing often or discouraging them. It is also important that you do not try to control others, and just as important that you show respect to yourself and ask that they treat you the same or be willing to walk away.
Know when it isn’t a healthy relationship. Just because you care about someone doesn’t mean you should be in a relationship with them at this time. They should be good for you, not addicted to anything, not controlling or abusive in any way, and make you feel secure and happy. It is not possible to make a relationship work with someone who doesn’t care about you, or who abuses a substance or you, so don’t try.
Seek to be good for others and don’t tear them down. People like to be with those who make them feel good and who are good for them. Lighten up and have fun together and your relationship will grow.
Friday, October 10, 2008
HOW TO MAKE A GOOD RELATIONSHIP
Relationship is a way in which two people behaves towards each other. It may be among boys, girls, elderly people or couples. It is intensified through friendship. Relationship inculcated with the fear of God plays a vital role in the life of young people.
Nowadays young people believe that every relationship is based on romance without which such a relationship cannot be regarded as complete. This has so much lured the minds of people and the act of true friendship dies off. This is because people equate friendship and love.
The following are points on how to make a good relationship:
· Take good care of yourself physically and otherwise;
· Be neat, clean and well groomed;
· Open your heart;
· To have a friend, be a friend;
· Show respect for others;
· Do not demand perfection;
· Practice chastity;
· Accept yourself(Know your limits);
· Don’t be selfish;
· Be yourself all the times, never compromise;Keep your dignity of person safe.
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Nowadays young people believe that every relationship is based on romance without which such a relationship cannot be regarded as complete. This has so much lured the minds of people and the act of true friendship dies off. This is because people equate friendship and love.
The following are points on how to make a good relationship:
· Take good care of yourself physically and otherwise;
· Be neat, clean and well groomed;
· Open your heart;
· To have a friend, be a friend;
· Show respect for others;
· Do not demand perfection;
· Practice chastity;
· Accept yourself(Know your limits);
· Don’t be selfish;
· Be yourself all the times, never compromise;Keep your dignity of person safe.
Do you know that you can captivate a man and make him fall in love with you? Yes, this is the secret of understanding men, and using it to your advantage. Check out this exclusive information on this site http://joe1111.liebe17.hop.clickbank.net/
Monday, September 15, 2008
COMMUNICATION IN MARRIAGE
Communication is very important in marriage. It is important for spouse to share their thoughts, feelings and be sensitive to each other's needs. The main cause for breakup in communication is usually a lack of understanding between the male and female talk styles.
Maintaining friendship in marriage is something that cannot be over-emphasized. Friendship binds a couple together and makes them comfortable with each other. It is cultivated when they talk and listen to each other.
When communication in any relationship breaks down, the very cords that hold the relationship together start to unravel. Many marriages have ended up in divorce not because of the enormity of what took place between the two people involved, but because they just could not engage in effective communication.
When negative emotions like malice, un-forgiveness, bitterness etc. find a place in our homes; they open the door for the devil to come in. When we have misunderstandings, we must overcome offenses so that they don't result to malice.
There are two sentences that have proved highly effective in abating anger and quarrels; they are "I am sorry" and "forgive me". The more couples use these words when fiction occurs in their relationship, the more they will experience peace and harmony in their affairs.
One of the major factors why marriages fail is that most couples do not understand themselves. Men and women react differently when they are faced with challenges and except we learn how the opposite sex thinks and reacts, we remain incapable of understanding each other fully and hence do not understand any chance of having a successful relationship.
Every woman must learn to praise her husband when ever he his running through trough troubles, as this re-establishes his self-esteem. Encouraging phrased like "I believe in you", "you can make it" and other faith-filled words will go a long way in inspiring such men especially when the words come from their wives.
Hence, i encourage every woman and men alike to draw close to God if you wish to experience bliss not only in their marriage, but also in their individual lives. In order to have a good marriage, you need God and you need communication.
Maintaining friendship in marriage is something that cannot be over-emphasized. Friendship binds a couple together and makes them comfortable with each other. It is cultivated when they talk and listen to each other.
When communication in any relationship breaks down, the very cords that hold the relationship together start to unravel. Many marriages have ended up in divorce not because of the enormity of what took place between the two people involved, but because they just could not engage in effective communication.
When negative emotions like malice, un-forgiveness, bitterness etc. find a place in our homes; they open the door for the devil to come in. When we have misunderstandings, we must overcome offenses so that they don't result to malice.
There are two sentences that have proved highly effective in abating anger and quarrels; they are "I am sorry" and "forgive me". The more couples use these words when fiction occurs in their relationship, the more they will experience peace and harmony in their affairs.
One of the major factors why marriages fail is that most couples do not understand themselves. Men and women react differently when they are faced with challenges and except we learn how the opposite sex thinks and reacts, we remain incapable of understanding each other fully and hence do not understand any chance of having a successful relationship.
Every woman must learn to praise her husband when ever he his running through trough troubles, as this re-establishes his self-esteem. Encouraging phrased like "I believe in you", "you can make it" and other faith-filled words will go a long way in inspiring such men especially when the words come from their wives.
Hence, i encourage every woman and men alike to draw close to God if you wish to experience bliss not only in their marriage, but also in their individual lives. In order to have a good marriage, you need God and you need communication.
Friday, August 22, 2008
WHAT MEN SHOULD KNOW AS THEY START THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED
You do not need to have everything before thinking of getting married. There is always a day for small beginning for everybody.
The most critical aspect of marriage is choice making. In making the choice of a life partner, do not leave it in the hands of you parents, pastor or friends. You are the person that will live with the woman and not those people. Your satisfaction and not theirs should be uppermost.
Depend on God to direct you. Do not depend on your understanding. God who knows the plan He has for you also knows the person that will help you in achieving that plan.
Do not be afraid of bride price. It can always be negotiated downwards. You can pay in part and pay the balance according to the agreement you have with your parents-in-laws.
God will reveal to you who your spouse is through the usual channel. He normally communicates with you through a dream, a strong impression, an inner witness, or any other means.
Getting married should not end with thinking alone. You need to prayerfully begin to search. If you are serious God will help you to find.
Marriage is a divine and faith project. Take a step of faith to make a marriage proposal after finding your ideal wife.
The most critical aspect of marriage is choice making. In making the choice of a life partner, do not leave it in the hands of you parents, pastor or friends. You are the person that will live with the woman and not those people. Your satisfaction and not theirs should be uppermost.
Depend on God to direct you. Do not depend on your understanding. God who knows the plan He has for you also knows the person that will help you in achieving that plan.
Do not be afraid of bride price. It can always be negotiated downwards. You can pay in part and pay the balance according to the agreement you have with your parents-in-laws.
God will reveal to you who your spouse is through the usual channel. He normally communicates with you through a dream, a strong impression, an inner witness, or any other means.
Getting married should not end with thinking alone. You need to prayerfully begin to search. If you are serious God will help you to find.
Marriage is a divine and faith project. Take a step of faith to make a marriage proposal after finding your ideal wife.
WHY A MAN SHOULD THINK OF GETTING MARRIED
A lot of men have wondered why they should think of getting married. There are so many reasons why men should think of getting married. Few of these are:
• You are not getting younger. The earlier you marry the better.
• As a young man, you face emotional and sexual pressure. A lot of single men have fallen into immorality due to wrong handling of sexual pressures.
• At a time in your life you need a companion. This is somebody you can sincerely share your dreams and aspirations with
• Marriage brings favour and promotion from God. There are some breakthroughs in your life as a man that can only come to pass or be facilitated if you get married
• Many young men spend so much eating outside due to lack of a reliable hand to cook for them. Having a wife can solve this problem.
• You are not getting younger. The earlier you marry the better.
• As a young man, you face emotional and sexual pressure. A lot of single men have fallen into immorality due to wrong handling of sexual pressures.
• At a time in your life you need a companion. This is somebody you can sincerely share your dreams and aspirations with
• Marriage brings favour and promotion from God. There are some breakthroughs in your life as a man that can only come to pass or be facilitated if you get married
• Many young men spend so much eating outside due to lack of a reliable hand to cook for them. Having a wife can solve this problem.
REASONS FOR MARRIAGE
People’s actions and reactions in marriage are influenced by their reasons for marrying. There are biblical reasons for marriage. They are:
• Companionship: God has a reason for creating you and bringing you to this earth. He also knows that you need a companion and helper to achieve the purpose of creating you. Your real spouse is the one that will help you realize your destiny. This, He sought to accomplish through marriage.
• Encouragement: At some point in our lives, we need a very close person to encourage us. Whether you are a politician, civil servant, or whatever, you will face some trying situations in life that, outside God, your spouse is the next person that can console and encourage you.
• Higher Accomplishment: Marriage brings promotion. This is because it attracts God’s favour when properly done.
• Procreation: This is to enable man fulfill the mandate of God in filling the earth not just with thieves, prostitutes and cultists, but with godly seeds
• Preventing Immorality: God says “Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
• Companionship: God has a reason for creating you and bringing you to this earth. He also knows that you need a companion and helper to achieve the purpose of creating you. Your real spouse is the one that will help you realize your destiny. This, He sought to accomplish through marriage.
• Encouragement: At some point in our lives, we need a very close person to encourage us. Whether you are a politician, civil servant, or whatever, you will face some trying situations in life that, outside God, your spouse is the next person that can console and encourage you.
• Higher Accomplishment: Marriage brings promotion. This is because it attracts God’s favour when properly done.
• Procreation: This is to enable man fulfill the mandate of God in filling the earth not just with thieves, prostitutes and cultists, but with godly seeds
• Preventing Immorality: God says “Since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
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